Hiking Up a Mountain: The 4 Stages That Mirror Relationships

Have you ever noticed how hiking up a mountain feels a lot like navigating a relationship? That thought never crossed my mind—until my boyfriend said, “We are going on a walk; get ready to hike Y Mountain.” And… we did!

Y Mountain: a quick overview

Here’s some background on Y Mountain:

• It stands at 8,572 feet (2,613 meters) above sea level.
• Located east of Brigham Young University (BYU) in Provo, it’s part of the Wasatch Front range.
• The Y Mountain Trail, also called the Slide Canyon Trail, is 2.2 miles round trip (3.5 km).
• Hikers gain about 1,074 feet in elevation across 13 switchbacks.
• The hike can take up to two hours. While considered moderate, the steep incline can be challenging. Thankfully, there are benches along the way to rest and enjoy the view.

Let’s dive into the four stages of my experience hiking up Y Mountain—and how they mirror relationships.

Stage 1: The Excited start

We parked at the trailhead and got ready to go. With my camera around my neck and a huge smile on my face, I was thrilled to be hiking up a mountain with my boyfriend. We walked together, pausing to admire the city below and the incredible views. The energy was high, and our spirits were light.

This is just like the start of any relationship. Everything feels exciting and new, and it’s easy to see the world through rose-colored glasses. Known as the “honeymoon phase,” this is a time when dopamine floods your brain. Every relationship experiences this stage, although its length varies.

While it’s a magical time, I believe that love has no fixed timeline to start or end. Every person—and every relationship—is different.

Stage 2: The Oh-No Uphill

Before long, our legs started to ache, and doubts crept in. My brain began asking: Why are we doing this? Should we keep going? Is this even worth it?  The steep incline made us breathless, and our cheerful conversation slowed as we focused on climbing.

Does this sound familiar? It’s like the moment in a relationship when reality sets in. You begin noticing quirks and habits you might not like. It could be something small or something significant. At this stage, it’s important to ask yourself: Can I accept these things and move forward?

No one is perfect, and every relationship has differences. The key is to decide if those differences are deal-breakers or if you can accept them and move on. However, red flags—any kind of abuse—should never be tolerated.

Stage 3: The Halfway pause 

The Y Mountain trail has 13 switchbacks, and we made it to number 7 before taking a break. We found a lovely bench overlooking Provo and Utah Lake.

During this section of the hike, we walked together at times but also separately. I vividly remember walking from switchback 5 to 6 on my own while he was walking a few feet behind me.

Think about this for a moment, relationships can feel like this too. You know your partner better by now—the good and the bad. You’ve been through some disagreements, and things might feel tense. Sometimes, you need to take some “me time” and sometimes you’re there, side by side. If you start to get into disagreements, you’re irritated, and you don’t want to compromise on anything, sit down, take a deep breath, and reflect on where you’re going together.

Stage 4: The Journey back down (with a new purpose) 

We didn’t reach the top that day. As we sat on that bench, we realized we weren’t physically ready to finish the climb. Instead, we talked, enjoyed the view, and even chatted with a nice lady walking her adorable puppy. Then we decided to head back down the trail.

Walking down, we felt lighter. My boyfriend said something that stayed with me: “Let’s get in better shape and hike to the top next time.” And to this day, I don’t think he knows what that meant to me. It was a new purpose, it was something to expect, together, for the future, as a team. I thank God so much for this man!

In relationships, this mirrors the moment you choose to tackle challenges as a team. When you set aside pride, communicate honestly, and make compromises, you create something beautiful together.

Was I disappointed we didn’t reach the top? Surprisingly, no. I felt grateful, accomplished, and excited for our next attempt.

Relationships are similar. When faced with challenges, the easy way out might be tempting. But sticking together, learning to give each other space, and working as a team can lead to incredible growth.

That day on Y Mountain, I realized that walking separately for a while doesn’t mean you’re not together. It just means you’re pacing yourself—and that’s okay.

If you’re navigating a tough time in your relationship, remember: you need to do the individual work to make it thrive. And if you need a little extra guidance, I highly recommend checking out Karina Madrigal’s page for professional advice.

Thank you so much for reading!

As always,
Be kind, dream big, live fully!

See you soon,
Vanessa

Want to know more about Provo city? Go check out my previous post!