Mama.
A word that many women dream of hearing one day. The word “mama” represents a deep, heartfelt desire.
The third episode of The Story Series on YouTube holds a very special place in my heart. And… if you haven’t watched it yet, run to YouTube before reading further because spoilers are ahead.
October is Gestational Loss Awareness Month, and I am part of the percentage of women who have experienced it. Just like my brave guest Natalia, who longed to be called Mama.
A topic that almost no one talks about
Gestational loss touches sensitive nerves. It’s a topic that few speak about, whether due to pain, fear, sadness, grief, or wounds that don’t heal. Many future mothers face it in silence.
Yet, the numbers are staggering:
- According to a study by The Lancet / Science Direct (2021), there are an estimated 23 million miscarriages worldwide each year. That’s 44 losses per minute.
- UNICEF Data (2023) reports that regarding stillbirths (after 20 weeks of pregnancy), the global rate is 14.3 fetal deaths per 1,000 births, meaning one stillbirth every 17 seconds.
And the hardest part: many cases go unreported, especially those that happen early in pregnancy.
Talking about this is not meant to scare you or dampen the joy of pregnancy. It’s because no one talks about it, but we all need to hear it.
Why is it still a taboo?
In a society where sex is no longer taboo, it’s ironic that gestational loss still is.
- Why are we afraid to talk about it?
- Why do we feel shame or judgment?
- Why doesn’t anyone explain how to cope?
These were questions I asked myself countless times… until I decided to start the conversation. Thanks to Natalia, this episode became a safe space where we shared experiences, emotions, and hope.
Healing is possible
Doing the work of healing is essential: therapy, conversations with trusted people, time in prayer… however you find it, don’t skip this step.
It’s important for women and men. Because yes, men who dream of being fathers also feel grief, and are often invisible in this conversation.
The grief that comes with gestational loss is like a wave of the sea. Over time, and with healing, the pain ebbs and flows, more or less frequently depending on the stage of life.
It doesn’t mean you are more or less of a mom because of it.
It means we learn to live with absence.
We turn grief into a companion.
And most importantly: there is life after loss.
A life your baby would surely want you to enjoy.
So, mama, if you are going through or have gone through a gestational loss, I want you to know:
- Don’t let yourself be defeated.
- Feel everything you need to feel.
- Keep moving forward every day.
You are not alone. We are many.
And if you ever want to talk about it, write to me! That’s what friends are for!
As always,
Be kind, dream big, live fully!
See you soon,
Vanessa.
